Friday, February 18, 2005

In My Birthmother's Words

This is today's post from my biological mother's private blog.

"On this day 35 years ago, a scared 17-year-old girl was in a hospital, giving birth to a baby girl. Most of it was a blur, because back then hospitals drugged up mothers in labor. Usually the drugs put the women to sleep, but the girl’s body was fighting them. Finally, the birth was about to happen, and they gave her a gas mask which finally put her out.

"Later, she woke up alone in a hospital room and felt her stomach. At first it seemed the baby hadn’t been born after all, but then she realized that yes, it had, and that was just the stretched out skin that remained. She pressed the call bell for a nurse, a nurse came, and she asked to see her baby. The nurse said that they would not be bringing the baby in for a feeding until sometime much later. The girl said, no, I don’t want to feed her, I want to SEE her, and I want to see her NOW. The nurse, surprised at the girl’s vehemence, said she could see her in the nursery, but could only get there via wheelchair. The girl waited patiently while the nurse left to get a wheelchair, but after half an hour, the nurse didn’t return. So she pressed the call bell again.

"The nurse’s voice came through over the intercom. The girl repeated her request to see her baby, where is the wheelchair? The nurse informed her that they had other things more important to do and would get to that when they could. The girl started crying.

"Some nice lady from a church came to visit the girl, and found her crying. The girl quickly recovered and put on a smile, for if they were to find her depressed, they might take her out of the private room she was in and into a room with three other new mothers. However, she didn’t fool the church lady. It wasn’t too hard for the church lady to determine why the girl was crying, and she immediately went to the nurse’s station and got a wheelchair. She wheeled the girl to the nursery where all the newborns were, but they weren’t allowed inside. So they parked outside the window and the girl searched for her baby among many in plastic see-through cribs, squinting at the name cards on each.

"Finally she found her baby way in the back. She knew it was hers even before she saw the name card "Baby Girl" on the crib. The church lady smiled at smiled at her excitement.

"Finally, the church lady wheeled her back to her room. The girl begged her not to tell anyone she had caught her crying, because it would kill her to be moved into a room where up to three happy mothers will be getting flowers and visits from their ecstatic husbands and parents. She didn’t want to be with them because she didn’t have a husband, and her baby would go to live with other parents.

"Fast forward 29 years, when the girl finally got to meet the child she put up for adoption. In her heart, she always knew it was the right thing to do, but when she finally met her, it cemented her long ago decision immeasurably."

My birthmom (Sherry) and me at the wedding in 2003.

It sure did! Thank you for giving me a birthday, and for loving your baby enough to let go and place her in such a loving family. You gave me to caring, intelligent parents who have showered me with unconditional love ever since the Day 1. And you gave me to a brother and sister who were instrumental in cultivating the silliness gene that I apparently inherited. And for these things I will be forever thankful. :-)

My real (adoptive) family in 2003--the family that raised and supported me (and bought a piano) and has loved me for 35 years. Plus the Hubster.


tonia/sparrow said...


This is absolutely beautiful. I'm so glad you shared it. Your birthmother was a brave woman to allow you the chance at a different life. Thank you (as an adoptive mom) for letting me peek at this part of the reality.

Emrah said...

Happy birthday! :-)

Below is a little birthday discovery for you. Perhaps, you have already encountered, but... This is a Chopin Fan Site with accurate information. The webmaster is also thinking about opening a composition contest. Hmmm... Would you consider? ;-)

Nevertheless, since the webmaster is currently transferring his data from a previous site he owns, you'd better go and visit his archieve where you can listen to Chopin's music and download some music sheets as GIF file for free by clicking the "Works" icon in the toolbar. [He should have managed to deal with the copyrights I suppose.] I gave it a try, it works and the downloaded documents are in good quality.

So... Enjoy your birthday. Demand a deadline-free day from your boss and leave the office as earlier as you can.

Jammie J. said...

Happy Birthday, dear. This is a beautiful tribute to both your birth mother and youradoptive family.

Did you know that you and Saija share the same birthday? Wow!

Saija said...

Happy birthday Nina! thanx for your birthday wishes at my blog (hi to you too Jeanette!) ... your birth mother's story was so very touching and real ... and it sounds like the Lord found a wonderful nest for you to grow in and fly from ... Lord bless you REAL good on this our shared birthdate!
(tho' i do have a few more years on you ... cough cough)

Crawdaddy79 said...


I knew it was around here somewhere.. I'm glad I found it before it got lost forever.

Saija said...

just thought i would come over and tell you a secret Nina ... not only do i share the day with you and John Travolta re birthdays, but i share the same year as John Travolta too ... but the water is fine here in REAL middle age and the Lord is good!

Kim said...

Nina, I tried to stop by yesterday and return the birthday wishes, but blogger was a little flaky last night. Just wanted to say Happy Birthday to you, and tell you how much I enjoyed the story of your birth mother!

Catez said...

This is awesome. Happy Birthday Nina! (And kind regards to George too - now that he is tuned)

Waterfall said...

Sparrow: Thanks. Yes, my birthmom was very brave. Glad that an adoptive mom got to read this. :-)

Emrah: Thanks! I'll check out the Chopin Fan Site later on today. It sounds like a good one.

Jeanette: Thanks! How cool that the two coolest people you know in the blogosphere (hee hee) have the same birthday!

Saija: Thanks! It's nice to receive birthday wishes from someone older and wiser. ;-)

Crawdaddy: Thanks, bro.

Kim: Thank you! Blogger comments have been acting up lately ... I guess they're still working out kinks with the new format. Hope you had a great birthday weekend!

Catez: Thank you! George also said to tell you hello (in the key of C, for some reason). Glad you stopped by!

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