Over Christmas, I was told that I was a "genius" and "brilliant" by friends and family who obviously like to carelessly toss such words about. Then I took a quickie, for-fun IQ test that told me that, when it comes to being "gifted," I was "close, but no cigar" (paraphrased, of course). "Apparently," I told the friend who used the word brilliant, "I may be one of the brighter crayons in the box, but I'm no Lemon Yellow."
This prompted a strange look from the friend (who shall remain unnamed), and this comment: "See, everything you say is over my head."
Now, isn't Lemon Yellow the brightest crayon in the box? What is so "over the head" about that? And if you compare intelligence to Crayola® crayons, well then, someone like Einstein would be a Lemon Yellow crayon, right? Intelligence-wise, I guess I'm maybe Orchid or Salmon or Carnation Pink--bright enough to hold my own, but not blindingly bright. No Lemon Yellow, indeed.
Then there is the issue of the white crayon. Would it count as being bright, since you can't even see it unless you're drawing on colored construction paper? If a person has "white-crayon intelligence," does that mean they're only bright in comparision to a dimmer environment? Kind of like some freshman comp students? You know, the average (or less-than-average) students who think they deserve an "A" from you because they got "A's" in English at their low-performing high school? Can you look at them condescendingly and call them "you worthless bunch of white-crayon thinkers," and leave it at that?
Can anyone tell me why I have this leftover English-major tendency to find metaphors in everything?
Also, is it racist to call someone a white-crayon thinker, I wonder? Or to call Apricot and Peach crayons the "skin colors," as we did when we were children? According to the crayon information page, there used to be a peach-like Crayola® crayon called "Flesh," but it was changed because children of many colors use crayons--not just the peach-colored children. My favorite crayon was always Indian Red. Oh geez. I promise I wasn't trying to be racist. Of course, Indian Red has since been changed to "Chestnut," to avoid offending anyone.
Is there an online Intelligence Test to tell us what crayon colors are symbolized by our IQs? If there isn't, well, there should be. Or maybe there's a test that tells us our personality traits based on our favorite crayon colors. I'll google it and get back to you.
By the way ... Lemon Yellow IS the brightest crayon in the box, isn't it? Or at least it was until it was RETIRED in 1990. Maybe the arteries in its pointy-headed, Crayola®-box-sharpened brain hardened and it wasn't so bright anymore. Hmph. More Crayola® crayon trivia here and here.
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