Tuesday, April 24, 2018

DIY Mad Gab: Sellin' Sillies

Another DIY Mad Gab, a.k.a. Fun with the Hard-of-Hearing!

These were from a company staff meeting ...
  • I can knock so you need.
  • We sold more sillies, so I don’t know if an impunity’s next.
  • It’s a chillin’ mix.
  • The second porter wanders along.
  • Not breakin’, not corrigible, just comin’ along.
  • The apocalyptic visitors to the help center
  • I don’t think anybody’s Alice.
  • We want the sh*t to move.
  • People who branched before the plum butt
  • Fifty forward greens
  • Yellin’ at people for whatever reason
  • I think I will straddle you next
  • Would be really interesting, the sewer you see.
  • Doss is gonna go above the onion.
For some reason, I understood more at this meeting than most, probably because everyone presenting was going by a PowerPoint that I could view in real time.

Still, there are always interesting little what-I-heard-but-not-what-they-said diversions.

Friday, April 20, 2018

DIY Mad Gab: Introduction. And Maybe Marshmallow.

As a hard-of-hearing person, I really like the game "Mad Gab." The whole idea is to hear something that sounds kind of like a common phrase, and then try to figure out what the common phrase actually is. For example, you might have to figure out that "Cohen Peas" is "Go in peace."

I've only played this game once, but I loved it because I got to see everyone else struggle to do the very thing I have to do all the time, every day: hear nonsense, and then reconstruct it to make some semblance of sense. An added perk was that I won the game easily because, people, I am good at this!

Now that I'm working remotely, I have a lot of conference calls and other phone calls. I generally try to get the people on the other end of the meeting to let me see them via the Zoom camera feature, but that doesn't always happen for a variety of reasons. The result is a rollickingly fun list of what I'm calling "DIY Mad Gab" phrases. Here's what I heard at a meeting earlier today. I've added punctuation because, well, I think it's funnier that way:
  • Strategically as central as their enema resources
  • Pleasure at times, but they don’t hide it for thousand dollars!
  • Every cancellation is a turnaround at the seaport.
  • Maybe marshmallow you guys?
  • Freedom nuke givers are a treasure to your cause!
  • We’re not engaging enema companies.
  • Stop-starter back there, you’re money-driven!
  • The nano man project, adieu!
  • I fling that hard in that papoose!
  • Oh wow! I was a cur and built for me!
  • Let me see if I can springform an idea ...
  • They’re doing what I kinda hetchin’ every day.
  • It’s a way to kinda damn-damn ‘em.
  • The deep take it well, it’s very offensive, and we can help.
  • I never got Alton Brown.
  • I’m immediately struggling to make my face.
  • Those cheese help a lot.
  • Stinkle sigh ...
The only problem with this game is that there is no cheat sheet, no answer on the back of the card. It's either ask people to repeat themselves every other sentence, or sit there and struggle to understand.

Actually, there is a third option: Stop struggling and just type exactly what you hear. Because some of it is seriously funny. And this is not a "I'm laughing so I don't cry thing." At least not completely.

So, friends, I may be posting more DIY Mad Gab posts soon. Hope you enjoy!

Vocal Stuff

I have written enough about my voice insecurities in the past, so I'm not going to go into that here. But I do want to write a little b...