This is going to be a long, rambling post--not unusual for me, I guess. I started writing in my journal this morning and couldn't get rid of the urge to shut the notebook and open the laptop. For some reason, I feel compelled to write everything here instead of privately. I'm not even sure what I'm going to write, and how much the published version will resemble the messy draft. But here goes ...
We're moving. We move every five years, roughly. When we got married in 2003, we moved to Maggie Valley. Then we moved to Franklin in 2008, and again to Fletcher in 2013. In 2014, we moved from one house in Fletcher to another. And now we're moving to Augusta, Georgia.
When the Hubster first put his name in the hat for a promotion, I ... well, I don't know what I was thinking. He's considered putting his name in the hat for other promotions, and I've always been a part of that decision ... the decision of, "No. We don't want to leave the Asheville area." When the Augusta position opened up, though, I gave him my blessing. I said okay. But then, once he got the interview, I balked. Leave Asheville? Leave my job? My Girl Scout troop? My friends? Anne's friends? My music lessons? My mountains? No. Wait, make that an all-caps NO. An all-caps, bolded, italicized NO!!!! with a handful of exclamation points.
But then we went down to Augusta for the interview and for all the meeting and greeting that accompanies it. I liked the people there. And when he got the job, I saw how truly happy they were to have him on board. And even though I cried on and off the whole three-hour ride back to Asheville, I wasn't sad about moving to Augusta. I was sad about leaving Asheville, certainly, but at the same time I felt okay about Augusta.
And then we went down not long after, kid in tow, to house-shop. We looked at seven or eight houses. After a mad morning of house-viewing, we had lunch with the realtor and went back to view the house we liked best ... and made an offer on it. We're scheduled to close on June 2 and move down there on June 8.
It's crazy that we bought a house. Our Maggie Valley house, which we've been trying to sell for years, finally got an offer on the day of Hubster's interview. Two offers, in fact, and we accepted the better one. We close on that house May 30. (Though I'm a little nervous because the inspection was Friday. Fingers crossed that they didn't discover some horrible problem that we didn't know about.) The housing prices in Asheville are apparently a lot higher than Augusta, and we got a nice, roomy house in Augusta for about half of what it would cost in western North Carolina.
Last night we had a Girl Scout activity and an art show at Anne's school, so we spent the first part of the evening with the Girl Scouts and the second at the school. On our way back home after it was all over, I felt the first real twinge of sadness since buying the house. (Funny how a nice new house can make you feel better about leaving a place you love.) I've been involved in Girl Scouts for less than a year, but I've started to make some friends through that. And here I am, leaving. I'd looked forward to building on those friendships in the years to come, but that's not going to happen. And I'll get to see my Daisy Scouts grow up on Facebook, but I won't get to be a part of their lives anymore ... and they won't be a part of mine. Just that thought makes me break down in tears.
And then there are the parents from Anne's school. I've made some good friends in the last few years, and there are more parents that I think would become good friends if I'd just stick around. I've put down more roots here in Fletcher/Asheville than I ever did in Maggie Valley or Franklin, for some reason. I guess that reason is that I have a kid, and that kid has friends and school and Girl Scouts, and there are more parents/potential friends to meet through those things. It feels like a part of me is ripping apart when I rip myself away from this community. Part of me will never leave here.
The good news is that there will be school and friends and even Girl Scouts in Augusta. There will be neighbors, and there will be friends I make through volunteering. And we'll own a house that I truly love, which will be a first. And I'll be able to invite people to that house, where the driveway is big enough that parking isn't a pain. We've never had a house with a good driveway.
Isn't that weird? I'm excited about a driveway.
I'm also excited about starting over, in a way. Not that things are bad here. But I've grown a lot in the past seven or eight years; I guess motherhood does that to you. So much of that growth here in western North Carolina has been painful and humbling. It nearly killed my marriage, it's sent me from job to job, and at times I've thought I should probably check myself into a psych hospital. It's only in the past couple of years that I've felt consistently "in a good place" emotionally and spiritually. Weirdly enough, I feel somehow equipped to move somewhere new and start over. As if, if this has to happen, this is a good time for it.
There's also the money. I'm tired of debt, and this promotion is going to help a lot with that. I know that there are no guarantees in life, no real security when it comes to material things, but I'm happy, at least, at the prospect of getting out of debt and ... well, just not having the constant burden of worrying about money. I think money stress has aged me more than motherhood ever could.
I'm planning to keep up with my music lessons, and I get to keep my current job and work remotely, so some areas of my life aren't going to change that much. I'm looking forward to having an extra hour each day since I won't be driving back and forth to work. The school Anne will be attending is a top-notch public school, so there won't be tuition to worry about (though I'll miss the school uniforms).
I think it's going to be a good life. There will be a lot of tears involved in the good-byes, but I think there will be a lot of joy involved in our new life in Augusta. I'm ready for this.
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