Monday, February 21, 2011

Multitude Monday #13

My mind feels so foggy this morning that it's hard to focus on gratitude, or lack thereof, or anything other than the task immediately at hand. I'm on a short work break and am feeling anxious. I need to get back to work. I need to finish up an article and edit another one. I need to get the information I need to build a software update set to be released this afternoon. I need, I need, I need.

I need time. I feel so desperate for time. I am starving for time.

Not the best state of mind for embarking on my 41st year of life.

While I had precious little time to myself this weekend, I did have some wonderful moments with Anne and Dan--visiting Anne's old sitter, having a picnic at Standing Indian Campground, rocking my sleeping baby in the middle of the day ... things like that.

Here are a few things I was thankful for this past week:

211. a home so close to the Appalachian Trail, and National Forest land, and campgrounds

212. watching her maneuver her baby steps over dead leaves, rocks, and sticks

213. the opportunity to volunteer for Compassion International on February 18—my birthday, and the birthday of my Compassion child, Consuelo

214. 40 or so new children sponsored Friday night at the Compassion event!

215. old songs that bring back good memories

216. falling asleep while she nurses

217. that he washed all five loads of clothes this weekend

218. books, books, books

219. writing for 30 minutes on Saturday morning, and making more progress than I normally make in an hour or two of writing

220. working out a particular conflict in my novel, trying to pinpoint the exact nature of the conflict in my head, and then reading about the same type of conflict, much more masterfully articulated, in Anna Karenina a few hours later

221. great writers like Tolstoy and Shakespeare, who teach me more about myself by holding up the mirror of my own humanity

222. hiding with baby in a game of hide-and-seek with daddy

223. the fact that we play hide-and-seek all the time now

OK, I'll stop. I'm honestly struggling with thoughts of gratitude today. When I wrote #221, I couldn't help but think, "but I really hate bad writers, specifically ________ and _________." When I wrote #215, I was tempted to add, "even if the old songs aren't very good."

See what I mean?

Gratitude goal for this week: to focus more intentionally on the gifts—something I admittedly haven't done for a couple of weeks.

In fact, my friend Audra's post today (specifically her third paragraph) pretty much sums up my life for the past couple of weeks.

Let’s end on a happier note. Can you see the joy in this child’s face? I think my baby likes to be outdoors!

4 comments:

  1. Happy Birthday, Nina!!!! I hope you had a wonderful day and that your 41st year is full of every imaginable good thing!

    I'm sorry you had a hard Monday. Sometimes it seems that every time "Multitude Monday" comes around, I'm in a sour mood. ;) It makes me thankful that there's an accountability to give thanks, even though half the time, I'm thinking, "Can I just do this tomorrow?!" ;) And then I put the thanks to screen, and the burden lifts . . . sometimes just the tiniest of tiny bits, but it's something. Thanks for your honesty - I'm glad I'm not the only one. But I guess that's part of the beauty of the discipline though, right? Thanking . . . choosing to thank . . . *especially* when we don't *feel* thankful. You inspire me!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are too kind, Audra! Thanks for the sweet comment!

    ReplyDelete
  3. My daughter has the same top - I love it. So snuggly and cute. And our girls appear to be around the same age. Harper is 18 months. 18 months of pure precious joy.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Happy belated birthday! I'm coming up soon to my fortieth (and rather excited about it). Don't feel bad for having negative with the positive. I've had weeks like that too! Feeling overwhelmed with busyness makes it difficult. Been there! I think Miss Anne is going to be a hiker like her mom and dad :o).

    Blessings!
    Deborah

    ReplyDelete