It's New Year's Eve. Since December 12, the day my daughter was born, I've written approximately one and a half pages in my journal, three thank-you notes, a couple of notes in Anne's baby book, some lame blog entries, a few half-finished grocery lists, and a smattering of ten-words-or-less status updates on Facebook.
It hasn't been a good month for writing. Heck, it hasn't been a good year for writing.
Still, I need to write. I need to write like I need to breathe. When I go this long without writing, I start to feel like I'm suffocating mentally--can't think straight, can't make decisions, can't speak intelligently.
The sleep deprivation of the last few weeks hasn't helped much either.
What kinds of things have I wanted to write? Nothing deep, I'm afraid. I'm simply not in a season of deep thinking, creativity, or intellectual curiosity. My reading materials have strayed little from pregnancy and baby-care books. My goals right now are to be a good mom and to make the most of my maternity leave, cuddling and snuggling with Baby Anne as much as possible. Other goals include getting a daily shower, brushing my teeth sometime before dinner, and remembering to pee.
Here are some things I've been thinking:
- The sleep deprivation that comes with having a newborn is nothing compared to the insomnia that comes with depression and stress.
- I have a beautiful baby. (I know, I should be more modest. But she's just so beautiful ...)
- I'm trying not to think about work, and the day I have to go back. I love being at home with my baby.
- Everyone showered me with unsolicited advice when I was pregnant. It was incredibly annoying, and much of it was either wrong or didn't apply to me. Next time I meet a pregnant person, I'm going to remain happily silent unless I'm specifically asked for advice.
- To those who said I'd get stretch marks: Ha! I didn't get a single one!
- To those who think they have the world's greatest husband: Sorry. You're wrong. The Hubster is the world's greatest. I feel very lucky and blessed to have him, especially at 3 a.m. when he comes into the baby's room after I've fed Anne and offers to rock her to sleep for me.
- I'm already a little tired of the unsolicited baby-care advice.
- I try to "sleep when the baby sleeps," but Anne seems to have an internal monitor that tells her when I'm trying to sleep because she always manages to wake up just as I'm drifting off. By the time I finally give up trying to sleep, she conks out.
- I have a beautiful baby. Oh, did I mention that already?
- Anne's doctor had nice things to say about her, such as: "This is the least jaundiced baby I've ever seen!" "This is one of the most alert babies (at 3 days old) I've met." "She's gained almost a pound and a half in two weeks! I don't know if I've ever seen such phenomenal weight gain!"
- Anne loves Bach, and she loves to hear me play the piano.
- Anne also loves "Hush Little Baby, Don't Say a Word." I'm getting really sick of singing that song, but I guess I'll keep singing it for a few more years.
- We're calling her Anne (not Annie, and not Scout ... though we do refer to her as Scout from time to time, and it'll probably be her trail name for now). Just one look at her intent little eyes, her thoughtful little brow, her serious little mouth, and you realize that she's an "Anne."
- Anne loves to be sung to. I mostly sing "Bible School" songs (Seek Ye First, Jesus Loves Me, etc.) to her, because they're simple and I know all the words to them. I think it's so sweet that she likes to hear me sing. She may be the only person in existence who does. Poor, misguided kid. :)
- I have no idea what's going on in the world, at least in the world of news and politics. I haven't read or watched the news in weeks. All I know about the outside world right now are that (1) a lot of people are getting snow; (2) my friend Jammie J's husband is going to be on a float in the Rose parade; and (3) LSU plays Saturday afternoon, and Ohio plays after the LSU game. I know, pretty pathetic.
- I haven't read another person's blog in a long, long time.
So, those are just a few thoughts and things I'd like to share. Life is good, very good, right now. I'm as happy as I've ever been. So is the Hubster.