On my favorite running podcast, Phedippidations, podcaster Steve Runner has yet to address the topic of pregnant runner boobage (PRB). Think of it: Your boobs feel a little like bowling balls. They hurt. They feel bruised and tender—so tender that the stream of water from a showerhead can make one groan in pain when it hits one of “the girls.”

Yes, I’m already learning already to stand in certain calculated positions while in the shower.

I folded my arms across my chest the other day, then just as quickly unfolded them. Apparently, pregnant boobs like to be mashed even less than they enjoy taking showers.

The pain is enough to make one want to wear dual helmets, or at least dual “Do Not Touch” signs, on one’s chest.

Anyway, imagine these tender gallon jugs stuffed into a sports bra. Then imagine them “jogging” inside said sports bra for, oh, an hour or more.

Not pleasant.

I’ve ordered The Runner’s World Guide to Running and Pregnancy (by Chris Lundgren) in hopes that it addresses the issue of PRB. Other runners online are saying, “Sure, run as long as you can! Just listen to your body! I ran a full marathon when I was three months pregnant! Tee hee!”

The thought of a half-marathon with PRB is not a pleasant thought. No, not an inviting thought at all. So I’m hoping this magical book will point me to a miracle bra (no, not that kind—I never could wear those anyway) that allows me to run pain-free.

Don’t you just love magical books with miracle solutions? I can’t wait to get mine!


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