Sunday, May 25, 2008

Waterfall vs The Vine

My home has long been home to a hateful vine. I have been battling this vine for five years now. I have dug, hacked, pulled, and lopped at this vine. I have even (gasp!) Rounded Up this vine. But it has no fear. It is an indestructible vine. It comes back with a vengeance, every time.

It nearly pulled down a large tree. It pulled down several shrubs. It is a hateful, hateful vine. It is a wicked, evil vine.

Slowly, year after year, I have fought the vine. And I have weakened it. I have never defeated it, but it had at least ceased to strangle small plants. Its leaves were browning and frayed, thanks to frequent sprayings with (gasp!) Roundup. So I really hadn't thought about the vine in a while.

Recently I gave away all of our firewood. What was left was a nice little stretch of land next to our driveway. "What a nice little stretch of land!" I thought. "It's perfect for a little flower garden! And I can hide the ugly fence!"

So I went to the garden place and bought lots of flowers and some plants for the garden. My plan was to spend Memorial Day weekend sprucing up that spot.

So I took Charlie, my tiller, and began to till the soil. That's when I hit ... the vine. The hateful, vengeful vine. And it wasn't just the vine; it was the vine's woody stump.

Make that two. The vine had two woody stumps. That I could find.

Charlie Tiller was thrown aside. In came the big guns: Saul Shovel, Lucabrasi Lopper, Willie Wood-splitter, and even Portia Pickaxe. I picked up Clytemnestra Clippers for good measure.

It was a valiant battle. The hideous vine fought with everything it had. But I refused to give up. I gave blood, sweat, and tears (just ask my mom) to the effort.

In fact, as I took a break to sit on the deck and boo-hoo that no big, strong Hubster was here to help me, the Hubster himself called to tell me what a beautiful day it was as he climbed a mountain and looked over the Mojave Desert. I was very proud of myself that I did not throw the cell phone across the yard.

After a couple of hours, I managed to wrench both vine-trunks from the ground. Success!

I tried in vain to hold both vine stumps up for my victory photo, as if they were fish I had caught, but the bigger one was too heavy.

But I whupped 'em both. I'm planting my garden tomorrow. (You can see the bed in the background. I had already filled in the holes by the time I took the photo.)


Anonymous said...

All hail to the victorious vine conqueror!

And yes, she did cry...but...I knew she would NOT give up.

Mrs. Gwen (Mom)

Jammie J. said...

Holy toledo. Those are some nasty looking monsters! I've attacked some nasty roots before, but nothing like that. I can only imagine how time consuming and effort consuming that must've been!

Congratulations on your feat! Wow!

I can't wait to see how the flowers look in their new home!

Sherry said...

I used to have those at my house in Metairie, Louisiana. It took a professional gardner at a relatively high price to get rid of them. Congratulations!

LiteShoe said...

Ditto on the "Holy Toledo!"

You are one persistent woman. Those are mega-roots. Congrats on winning the tussle. A Memorial Day well spent.

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