Saturday, April 12, 2008

This Is Getting Ridiculous

Can I just vent for a little while? If you're one of those people who hate reading personal venting blogs, then you can just go on your merry way. I need to vent about some things. I'll probably do so in a series of posts.

This morning, I want to talk about exercise, nutrition, my ever-expanding waistline, my rapidly widening hips, and my new and unimproved "sedentary lifestyle" butt: What is going on with me? What happened to the little running addict who would fit in her run each day, even if it meant waking up at 5 a.m. or squeezing in a 5-miler at 9 p.m.? Generally, I am nothing if not motivated. I am the type of person to whom friends and acquaintances declare, "Oh, I wish I had your energy and resolve!" Seriously. I am the friend who motivates other friends to get in shape.

I haven't been on a long run in I-don't-know-how-long. After the flu recovery (early- to mid-March), I was starting to run again. I did several runs between 5 and 10 miles. Not the distance I wanted to be going, but at least an acceptable distance.

I didn't go to the half-marathon in late March that I had signed up and paid for. I was too tired.

Work has been so busy (not particularly stressful ... just busy). And the long commute each day is taking its toll. And with the Hubster leaving soon on his long journey, I found myself opting, time after time, to come straight home after work instead of going on my run. And we're doing some home renovations, which is keeping me busy on weekends ... and even though I plan to run, I end up not doing it. And now we're going out to eat nearly every night because we want to spend time with friends before Hubster leaves.

So I had a huge half-pizza last night.

I haven't had a banana in three days.

I took the day off yesterday because I needed to get some things done. Instead of running, I played the piano all day. Then finally went for a run at the gym at 7:30 p.m. and walked/ran a measly 2.5 miles. I felt so bored. I didn't want to be running. I wanted to be home with Hubster.

I could have gone to the grocery store and bought some bananas. But I didn't.

I went to the Greenway to run last Wednesday, but some man I didn't know insisted on running with me. He barely spoke English and kept asking questions like, "You run here every Wednesday? I see you here again tomorrow?" And his friends were nodding approvingly at him, I guess since he was running with a little blonde thing. Talk about creepy. I ran a quick two miles, got in my car, and left. So much for that run.

Yes, I am venting. Yes, I know this post has no structure, no sense of development, and hardly a smidgen of my characteristic self-deprecating humor. How the mighty have fallen.

There you go. :)

Today is Saturday, and Hubster and I have a day full of house projects to tackle, and we're meeting friends in Asheville tonight for, yes, dinner. When am I going to run? I don't want to run. I don't feel like running. I'm tired and cranky and, frankly, I wouldn't mind just going back to bed for the rest of the morning.

Something is wrong. This is not typical behavior for me. I need to get back to running and eating right. For several years now, running has been my "cure" for feeling like this. The good bod has been merely a side benefit of the good health and positive mental outlook.

The good news:

Shift season at work ends on Tuesday. After Tuesday, my life becomes my own again. No more 50-hour weeks in which I have to show up at X time and leave at Y time. I can start running in the mornings again and get to work when I please.

I just wish someone would buy our house. The commute is really wearing me out.

OK, venting session over. Feel free to post encouraging comments at this time. :)


Sherry said...

I think the combo of winter and 50-hour weeks and 10 hours a week of commuting has been enough without beating yourself up over not running more. Enjoy the hubster and good food for a while. Once he leaves and your hours normalize, even with the commute, you'll have plenty of time to run. Maybe you can find a place about halfway through the commute that has a track, and you can walk a couple of miles on your way to work and run like hell on your way back to break up the hour drive. I hate that the housing market is what it is now! But you're in a great area, so this spring, someone will surely snap it right up!

oceanskies79 said...

Hi Waterfall, it has been a long while since I have visited this blog.

Venting can be therapeutic. Hope you are feeling more relieved and better after the venting session?

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