Sunday, October 28, 2007

Binge

I've been on a binge. I guess that means this is confession time.

I remember the days when I used to eat butter-soaked grilled-cheese sandwiches as snacks. And dunking sticks, every night, from the vending machine in college. And bagels with mountains of strawberry cream cheese for breakfast every morning. And I never, ever exercised.

That was 15-20 years ago. Since then, I've been pretty good.

But this weekend I went on a binge. It's been building for a long time. It started with the chocolate at work. And it's gone downhill from there.

Yes, even health-nuts like me fall off the wagon.

I was doing a pretty good job of avoiding the ubiquitous chocolate at work. But it never ran out--several mornings a week, the big orange pumpkin would be full again.

I finally caved. Truthfully, I've never met a bite-sized Kit-Kat or Twix I didn't like. And what's weird is that, once I've (re-)introduced my body to junk food like that, I become less and less inclined to eat my usual fruit smoothies and salads and whole-grain stuff.

So this weekend, after two weeks of nibbling, I devoured a box of Kashi Autumn Wheat cereal, ate French fries, had half a bag of Chex Sweet & Salty Honey Nut snack mix that I impulse-bought at a gas station, downed a greasy bran muffin at the coffee shop, and nibbled on a mini-bag of Reese's Pieces. Yes--not only have I been eating junk food, but I've been avoiding my usual healthy foods. Why? No idea.

And of course I haven't felt like running at all, partly due to an minor but painful injury to my baby toe, and partly because I've been giving myself junk.

Oh, I did have an apple yesterday. And a banana--in a peanut-butter-and-honey-and-banana sandwich for lunch. Aarrgghh. At least I it was on 12-grain bread.

I have to stop this ridiculousness. At the rate I'm going, I'll end up at McDonald's before the end of the week. Folks, I don't eat at McDonald's. I haven't eaten at McDonald's in years. I don't even like McDonald's.

No, I probably won't end up at McDonalds. That was just me being hyperbolic.

Anyway, I went for a run Friday afternoon and felt like someone had put water in my gas tank. Had no energy. I even got a side cramp. My stomach complained.

Then Friday night was the toenail drama, which prevented me from running in a 5K race yesterday evening--an idea I had been dallying with since I wasn't able to go to the Lexington BBQ Festival.

That's about the time I impulse-bought the Chex Mix.

So today is supposed to be a 9-mile long run. I'm going to wait until this afternoon to give my poor toe a bit more time to heal. I don't know if I have 9 miles in me. But I have to get myself back in shape. The holiday season is around the corner, and I have an unbelievably sedentary job and am working some unbelievably long hours of late. That's not a very good recipe for staying fit and avoiding Depression.

Yes. Fitness and physical health are nice side effects of a healthy lifestyle, but for me, it's mostly about avoiding Depression.

So. I'm signing up for a November 5K and a December Half-Marathon. And I may not have 9 miles in me this afternoon, but I'll go as far as I can.

There. Confession time over. Time to get back to work.

5 comments:

  1. You know what you need to do to feel like a human being. God grant you the courage to do it!

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  2. While on my trip, I worked out really hard the first 2 days then it's been downhill since. I hope to get my butt moving tomorrow.

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  3. Why does junk food have to be so darn enticing. (sigh)
    I know how you feel, I just try to have healthy junk food. Like oatmeal/honey cookies with just the best amount of chocolate chips in them. Every now and again, those darn bite size candy bars find their way in my mouth, though.

    Tis that time of year, I guess.

    You'll be okay, it's not that bad to fall off the health food wagon, as long as you find your way back on. :)

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  4. CTG: Thanks! I had a great workout at 6:00 this morning, and that helped!

    Joan: Good luck getting that butt moving! :)

    Jammie J: Since I love to snack, I usually try to snack on healthy stuff--grapes, apple slices, etc. There's just something about chocolate and non-fructose sugars, though ...

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  5. "half a bag of Chex Sweet & Salty Honey Nut snack mix THAT I IMPULSE-BOUGHT AT A GAS STATION..."

    (love that!)

    I've missed you ... going to come back over the long weekend and have a long read.

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