Yesterday was one of the unhealthiest days of my life. It's everybody else's fault.
First of all, I had to be at piano at 10:00 yesterday morning. I normally whip up a banana-pomegranate-etc. smoothie for breakfast, but we were out of bananas. This is because I had planned to have family over Thursday evening to celebrate my nephew's birthday. But then the Hubster asked if we could move it to Saturday. So I put off shopping until Saturday. So I had no food in the house Saturday morning. So I ate no breakfast.
I hadn't had dinner the night before, either.
Then I went to piano. Then to Greenlife Grocery. I bought lots of food. We would be celebrating Frankie's birthday, and my parents were coming to visit. My parents hadn't been in North Carolina since last summer and hadn't visited my house in nearly a year.
On the way home, I ate ginger snaps and tortilla chips. This is Frankie's fault because he asked for pumpkin pie for his birthday cake. The ginger snaps were to be part of the crust. Lucky for him I bought two bags. The tortilla chips were for appetizers, and for an excuse to use up some leftover salsa. If those folks at work had eaten all of the salsa, I wouldn't have had this problem.
Then I got home. My dad loves summer fruit desserts, so I felt obligated to make something in addition to pumpkin pie. I'd been eyeing a recipe for peach-molasses cake for weeks, so I decided to make that. Lucky for him the peaches were on sale.
Well, wouldn't you know, the recipe was for an 8.5 x 11 x 2 pan. Who keeps one of those on hand? Not me. So I decided to use two mini-loaf pans, and then make a few peach-molasses cupcakes as well. It worked. The molasses cupcakes were excellent. Lucky for everyone I saved some for them. I ate two cupcakes, and this of course is the fault of every one of my wedding guests from 2003 for not giving me an 8.5 x 11 x 2 pan. I'm sure it was in my registry somewhere.
Of course my dad loves fresh fruit more than anything. So I mixed up some blackberries, cantaloupe, honey, lemon juice, sugar, and fresh thyme, and let them sit for a couple of hours. I only want the best for my dad, so I of course had to taste things periodically. Lucky for him there was some left when he got here.
Then Frankie, of course, wanted pumpkin pie for his birthday cake. I needed to use a block of cream cheese, so I decided to make him a pumpkin-cheesecake pie instead. It is not my fault that it turned out to be the best pumpkin-cheesecake pie in the history of the world. It is God's fault for giving me such fine recipe-following abilities, and my mother's fault for giving me the King Arthur Flour Baker's Companion. I did manage not to eat any pie before we cut it, though. I cannot say the same for picking at the pie crust.
And it's all Frankie's fault for demanding full-fat ice cream to accompany the pumpkin-cheesecake pie. (Vanilla ice cream is really good with a bit of cinnamon-sugar sprinkled over it.)
No one ate tortilla chips because they were so busy gobbling up fruit and peach-molasses cupcakes. Thus, it is the fault of all my guests that Hubster and I were forced to nibble on chips and salsa throughout a heated Scrabble game with Frankie last night.
And it's Hubster's fault for making all-beef hamburgers as the snack to be eaten in between the sugared fruit, the peach-molasses cupcakes, and the pumpkin-cheesecake pie.
And then--here's the real kicker--I didn't do my Saturday long run. That's Hubster's fault for demanding a Saturday birthday party for Frankie, and Deborah's fault for insisting on a Saturday piano lesson. And God's fault for making it rain cats and dogs. Not that I would have had time to run--I was so busy baking and nibbling. Thanks a lot, Frankie.
Well, today is another day. I'll return to my healthy ways. Lucky for me I sent the peach-molasses mini-loaves home with my parents to give to my respective siblings.