Sucked In

I was going to grade papers tonight and, if I had time and energy left over, work on analyzing the C#-major fugue. But I was so tired to begin with ... so I flipped on the TV to catch an episode of "Law and Order: SVU" on USA.

One of the major pitfalls of being a "Law and Order: SVU" addict is that I've seen most of the reruns. Of course, I'd seen the ones that were coming on tonight, so I had to switch channels.

Instead of being productive--instead of grading papers and analyzing my Bach--I ate pizza, drank merlot, and watched three straight hours of Clinton and Stacy on "What Not To Wear."

Lucky for me, I've only seen this show maybe three times in my life (all on a multi-day road trip in which I was stuck in a hotel room after driving all day, too tired to do anything but be a couch bed potato). So there were no rerun issues. I was free to be sucked in by this mindless, shallow, trendy, appearance-oriented cable television show on a lonely Friday night.

Say, do you think y'all can recommend me for that show? I need it. I'm the laziest dresser alive. I sorely miss the good old days of high school and my brief stint in the medical field, when uniforms were required. Oh, how I loved not having to think about what to wear or what not to wear. I just threw on a plaid jumper or my scrubs and faced the day. I'd wear the same outfit to school every day if I could now. Oh, how I envy my students, who show up every day in jeans and the regulation knit shirts.

You know, one of the things that I love about long-distance hiking is that I never even have to wash the clothes I wear. I just put on the same stinky, sweaty shirt, sports bra, shorts, and socks every day, day in and day out, and hit the trail. It's all so simple that way.

I sure do miss those periods of my life when I never had to worry about clothes.

These days, I wake up and throw on anything that might remotely match. I wear Smartwool hiking socks with everything. And I'm bad about wearing the same shirt two or three days in a row because I'm too lazy to think about other possibilities from day to day.

So, if anyone wants to give Clinton and Stacy a call, I'm sure they would have a field day with me. I can imagine their grimaces and shrieks as they spy on me and observe my shopping habits with horror.

But I do, after all, need a stylish, figure-flattering dress to wear to my piano recital in the fall of 2007 ...


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