Friday, September 2, 2005

Thoughts

For those of you who don't follow Sojourner's blog, you are missing something.

My heart is broken over all of this New Orleans stuff. I just talked to my birthmom for the first time since before the hurricane hit. When I talked to her before, she was packing up to evacuate from her home in Kenner, La. (just west of New Orleans). I hadn't been able to get in touch with her since, with phone lines being down and cell phones not working.

So I finally got to talk to her today. She and my sister Rebecca are safe and sound, and her apartment in Kenner seems to be okay. But, as she said, "New Orleans is dead." New Orleans. A place that she's called home for her entire life. It's dead. It's so surreal ... I keep thinking I'll wake up and none of this will have happened. I just can't get rid of this sick feeling in my stomach. And I can't stop crying if I let myself think about ... so I haven't let myself think about it. And I haven't looked at the television for several days because it is too painful.

I'm thankful that we had school this week. School has been a godsend, literally. I have been so focused on the challenges of the first week; even if I'd wanted to think about all the destruction, I wouldn't have had time. Had I been at Cubicle Job, I would have been glued to the internet, looking at pictures, reading news, and getting more and more depressed. Instead, I was in a positive atmosphere, getting to know my students, settling into what will soon be my routine for the year.

School was a needed distraction from all the horror and the sadness. But now that I'm home for the weekend, it all seems to be washing back over me.

Hubster and I are going to take a walk, then spend a quiet weekend together.

I am clearly rambling and not in the best state of mind for blogging, so I'll sign off for now.

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