Exhausted, and All Peopled-Out

I think I'm exhausted.

It's exhausting to be bored out of one's mind for ten hours a day, is it not? I'm working--I have plenty of work to do--but it is the most boring work in the world. What's really sad is that you must be specially educated to be good at this work. It seems weird, though, to go through all of that schooling, just to be able to stay inside and do really boring things all day for a little bit of money.

This is why I'm hoping I get the teaching job. I'm meeting with the personnel committee this afternoon. I'm not all that nervous about it; I figure one of several things will happen.

1) They'll be so thrilled that an educated, passionate writer like me is willing to work for a private-school teacher salary, and they'll hire me on the spot.

2) They'll be disappointed at my lukewarm references, my lack of teaching experience, my previous job-hopping, and my penchant for growing enormous zits once a month that they'll say they don't want me after all. (I'll be sporting an impressively mountainous zit for the interview.)

3) They'll tell me that they're truly sorry, but they've decided not to have the position for which I'm applying.

4) They'll interview me and say, "We'll let you know in a few weeks."

Whatever happens, happens. I just hope to know the answer, whether it's yes or no, sooner rather than later.

Back to being exhausted. I'm all peopled-out. Every night for the last couple of weeks, I've had people-related things to do. Some of them were enjoyable, but I am sorely needing some alone-time. And it doesn't look like I'm going to get any until I set foot on a hiking trail in a week and a half. The prospect of no alone time until then ... well, it is very draining if I think about it. I'm actually thinking of cancelling music theory, piano, get-togethers with friends, and volunteer work until after my two-week hike. I feel like I'm really running on empty.

My active social life (how did an introvert like me manage to get an active social life?!?) has also kept me away from my true loves: piano, composition, and writing. Those are the things that renew me, and I haven't had any renewing sessions worth mentioning in some time.

I have to work in some alone time between now and the hike. I look at my Palm Pilot and cannot believe how "booked" I am. I hate this. I like being busy and active, but I hate being booked!!

When I get home at night, after the social stuff, I just veg and maybe read three pages of a book before dropping off to sleep. I know I'm not eating right, and that probably isn't helping my feeling of exhaustion. I'm planning a good workout after the interview this afternoon, so hopefully that'll help.

Sorry to expose everyone to this mindless ramble. This is what happens when I sleep late and don't have time to do "Morning Pages" in my journal before work!


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