Had my lunch-hour music theory lesson today. As we sat there, going over seventh chords and secondary dominants, I just thought to myself, "I LOVE this. I absolutely LOVE this. There is nowhere that I would rather be. I could sit in this 'class' all day long."
Now I feel all floaty and happy. Floating back on my well-tempered cloud. The slinkies are uncoiling, finally. I want to go run five miles. Lots of energy in those uncoilings.
And then I want to take a week off from life and lock myself into the Inner Sanctum (that's what Dan calls our piano/guest/gear/storage room) and explore all of these wonderful musical concepts with no concern for schedules or food or work or sleep or any of that silly stuff. Of course, that won't happen, but ... it's a thought. A nice one.
Because I really do have things to write. Specific people that I need to write music for. For whom I need to write music. Specific ideas that I want to explore. So much is just waiting. And finally, finally, I feel like I'm beginning to learn the language, the skills to use the tools, required to write these things. There is such a sense of possibility right now, such an intense one, that I can literally feel my heart beating. I just can't wait to get home and work.
I think I may be "into" music theory the way my sister Rebecca is "into" Ronald Reagan, horses, or the Bush family. Of course, that's not a bad thing. Rebecca is, after all, a bit of an expert on the things that she is "into." It wouldn't hurt for me to gain a tad of expertise in the realm of music theory. These concepts are useful tools, after all! Besides, one can't help but be obsessive when the object of one's obsession is so ... worthy and demanding of obsession. Right? :-)
Nah, I'm not obsessive. I'm really not. I prefer "tenacious." "Focused." Yeah.
But seriously, all of these "obsessive" hours I've spent on music theory are going to pay off. What a thrill that is. I feel like the door has opened a crack, and the warming sunlight is spilling in.
I feel, I feel. Do I sound touchy-feely or what? But I AM touchy-feely right now. It's like I'm flying. La la la. I love this. It probably means I'll crash later, but oh, it's wonderful while it lasts.
Once again, I'm sitting quietly in my cubicle, working (yes, I'm really getting work done while I write this), and no one has any clue of the sheer joy that their random little nerdy tech writer is experiencing at this moment.
Hee hee! It's like having a secret life! Some days I feel like J. Alfred Prufrock, but it looks like I'm a Walter Mitty girl today.