As a lifelong word nerd and punctuation enthusiast, please let me apologize to you, my vast reading audience. I have failed you. Not only did I fail you, but I didn’t even know I was failing you until late last night, when I learned, much to my mixed joy and chagrin, that August 22 has been declared National Punctuation Day.
I was utterly joyful at the thought of planning yearly celebrations of punctuation marks, particularly my personal favorites: the semicolon, the en-dash, and the exclamation point. I was chagrined that the entire day had gone by and was nearly over, and I had been completely unaware of this historic event.
So, dear readers, I am sorry. I missed it. Most likely, you missed it. We all missed it. Let's all do that L-for-loser-on-the-forehead thing now, all together, 1 - 2 - 3. But not for long. 'Cause we're gonna make up for it next year!
Punctuation Party at my house, August 22, 2005! Be there, and be prepared to imitate your favorite punctuation mark in a fun and exciting game of semicolon charades! We'll have comma cocktails! Parenthesis punch! Hyphen hors d'oeuvres! Quotation quaffs! Bracket beverages! Ellipsis eats!
We'll take a ride around town and point out all of the incorrect punctuation we find on signs! We'll even take pictures! We'll bash in any mailbox that has an "apostrophe-s" at the end of a last name! OK, so we won't do that. We'll be wild and crazy and act like exclamation points, but we won't break the law.
Oh geez. I'm having too much fun. I shouldn't be allowed to have this much fun this early on a Monday morning.