First Post of 2010

Holy moly. This is my first post of 2010. Have I been away that long?

Little Scout sure knows how to distract me from blogging (and house-cleaning, and piano-playing, and writing, and ...)!

Scout will be six weeks old on Saturday. My life is definitely different from what it was before; it's hardly recognizable. Gone is the independent Waterfall who makes such self-actualized decisions as, "I'm going to go to K-Mart now," and "I think I'll take a hot bath tonight." No more is the Waterfall of old, who took random walks whenever she felt like it, who reached for her cell phone when the spirit moved her, who scratched her itches whenever they itched.

Once cannot reach for cell phones that are unreachable if the baby is nursing. One cannot necessarily scratch itches if the itch is on the back of one's upper arm and the nursing baby is resting in the crook of the opposite arm.

And taking a hot bath? I can do that when Hubster is home. Sometimes. The other night, however, I accidentally filled the tub with cold water. And another time, I filled it too high and the hot water ran out and I ended up with a slightly-less-than-lukewarm bath. Sigh.

I love little Anne. She's a happy, healthy little one so far. She eats like a pig (a good thing when you're five and a half weeks old) and is growing her third chin already. She's crazy about her daddy, and I'm starting to think she likes me, too.

Here are a few pictures, for those of you not on Facebook:

First is my smiley girl. She typically looks like this when she wakes up in the morning. She still isn't smiling a lot, but we're seeing more smiles every day.




Here I am with Scout, a.k.a. Baby Anne. Poor, neglected George is in the background.




Baby reaching for my hair. She loves to grab my hair.




Close-up of the little beauty.




A hint of a smile:



Many thanks to my friend Robbie for taking such great pictures of my little sweetie. Robbie took all but the "smiley" picture at the top.

The little one is making goo-goo ga-ga noises right now, so I'd better go check on her!

The Need to Write, Even If It's Rambling Garbage

It's New Year's Eve. Since December 12, the day my daughter was born, I've written approximately one and a half pages in my journal, three thank-you notes, a couple of notes in Anne's baby book, some lame blog entries, a few half-finished grocery lists, and a smattering of ten-words-or-less status updates on Facebook.

It hasn't been a good month for writing. Heck, it hasn't been a good year for writing.

Still, I need to write. I need to write like I need to breathe. When I go this long without writing, I start to feel like I'm suffocating mentally--can't think straight, can't make decisions, can't speak intelligently.

The sleep deprivation of the last few weeks hasn't helped much either.

What kinds of things have I wanted to write? Nothing deep, I'm afraid. I'm simply not in a season of deep thinking, creativity, or intellectual curiosity. My reading materials have strayed little from pregnancy and baby-care books. My goals right now are to be a good mom and to make the most of my maternity leave, cuddling and snuggling with Baby Anne as much as possible. Other goals include getting a daily shower, brushing my teeth sometime before dinner, and remembering to pee.

Here are some things I've been thinking:

- The sleep deprivation that comes with having a newborn is nothing compared to the insomnia that comes with depression and stress.

- I have a beautiful baby. (I know, I should be more modest. But she's just so beautiful ...)

- I'm trying not to think about work, and the day I have to go back. I love being at home with my baby.

- Everyone showered me with unsolicited advice when I was pregnant. It was incredibly annoying, and much of it was either wrong or didn't apply to me. Next time I meet a pregnant person, I'm going to remain happily silent unless I'm specifically asked for advice.

- To those who said I'd get stretch marks: Ha! I didn't get a single one!

- To those who think they have the world's greatest husband: Sorry. You're wrong. The Hubster is the world's greatest. I feel very lucky and blessed to have him, especially at 3 a.m. when he comes into the baby's room after I've fed Anne and offers to rock her to sleep for me.

- I'm already a little tired of the unsolicited baby-care advice.

- I try to "sleep when the baby sleeps," but Anne seems to have an internal monitor that tells her when I'm trying to sleep because she always manages to wake up just as I'm drifting off. By the time I finally give up trying to sleep, she conks out.

- I have a beautiful baby. Oh, did I mention that already?

- Anne's doctor had nice things to say about her, such as: "This is the least jaundiced baby I've ever seen!" "This is one of the most alert babies (at 3 days old) I've met." "She's gained almost a pound and a half in two weeks! I don't know if I've ever seen such phenomenal weight gain!"

- Anne loves Bach, and she loves to hear me play the piano.

- Anne also loves "Hush Little Baby, Don't Say a Word." I'm getting really sick of singing that song, but I guess I'll keep singing it for a few more years.

- We're calling her Anne (not Annie, and not Scout ... though we do refer to her as Scout from time to time, and it'll probably be her trail name for now). Just one look at her intent little eyes, her thoughtful little brow, her serious little mouth, and you realize that she's an "Anne."

- Anne loves to be sung to. I mostly sing "Bible School" songs (Seek Ye First, Jesus Loves Me, etc.) to her, because they're simple and I know all the words to them. I think it's so sweet that she likes to hear me sing. She may be the only person in existence who does. Poor, misguided kid. :)

- I have no idea what's going on in the world, at least in the world of news and politics. I haven't read or watched the news in weeks. All I know about the outside world right now are that (1) a lot of people are getting snow; (2) my friend Jammie J's husband is going to be on a float in the Rose parade; and (3) LSU plays Saturday afternoon, and Ohio plays after the LSU game. I know, pretty pathetic.

- I haven't read another person's blog in a long, long time.

So, those are just a few thoughts and things I'd like to share. Life is good, very good, right now. I'm as happy as I've ever been. So is the Hubster.

Update

Hi, everyone! Sorry I haven't updated in so long. Things are going great with Baby Anne, but I've been too tired to do much online, other than posting the occasional status update on Facebook and responding to a few e-mails. I want to write an account of Anne's birth story on here before I forget it, so maybe I'll work on that this afternoon.

Motherhood has been overwhelming but wonderful. I am so in love with my sweet little daughter. I think breastfeeding must be one of the most fulfilling activities in the entire world. I can't even begin to describe how much I love being able to feed my little one and give her what she needs, nutrition-wise. It helps that she's a world-champion nurser who started nursing within five minutes of birth. Hubster said she nursed so well because she takes after him with his appetite. I said she takes after me because she obviously read the breastfeeding manual while in the womb.

Here are a few pictures we've taken recently:

Our little angel:



Hubster and Waterfall, marveling at the little miracle:



Father and daughter. She's already a daddy's girl, and he's already smitten.



See what I mean?



Ella is getting to know her cousin:



The Baxley women: Waterfall, Anne, Grandma Gwen ("GG"), Ella, and Megan



I'll try to write more later, but I don't know when. This post alone took me 45 minutes because I had to take a break to go nurse Miss Anne!

Welcome to the World, Little Scout!

Anne Megan Rogers entered the world on Saturday, December 12, 2009, at 8:51 p.m. Baby is healthy and beautiful!

Anne Megan Rogers:



Mommy, Daddy, and Baby Anne:



Mommy and Daddy are tired but happy. Birth story to be posted soon!

Maybe Tomorrow

I'm 4 cm dilated and 80% effaced. Maybe tomorrow? Little Scout, are you ever going to come out of there?

The Last Few Days

The last few days of my life have been pretty uneventful. Basically, we're sitting here, using up the last of my paid time off at work, waiting for Scout to get here. I spent one day playing piano, making cookies, and concocting a lovely dinner for the Hubster. I spent yesterday watching movies, playing putt-putt, playing piano, and walking on the treadmill Santa brought us for our early Christmas present. I'm not sure what I'll do today. Probably the same thing as yesterday.

As I mentioned in a previous post, yesterday was my weekly visit with the midwife at my OBGYN's office. She stripped my membranes, which is supposed to "encourage labor." It doesn't work for everyone, and some recent studies have shown that it doesn't have any effect. But I decided to go ahead and have her do it, since the later Scout is, the greater the chance of health-related problems arising due to my aging placenta.

Supposedly, once the membranes are stripped, you will go into labor within the next 24 hours if the process is working. The midwife was optimistic, since I'm already dilated 3 cm, am 80% effaced and have a "very soft" cervix. Well, it's been 24 hours and I'm still pregnant. So I guess it didn't work, though I've read that it's more realistic to expect labor in the next 24-36 hours, instead of just 24. We'll see.

I kind of wish we hadn't stripped the membranes. I'm fine with Scout being late, but all the "false hopes" do is set me up for disappointment the following day. Two Mondays ago, I was cramping all day ... but no baby, so I was depressed on Tuesday. Friday I had contractions for 11 hours ... but no baby, so I was depressed all day Saturday. Then yesterday, the membranes ... and no baby. So instead of having the attitude of, "Well, I guess Scout will come when he/she is ready," I find myself feeling depressed and disappointed today, even though I know the membrane-stripping isn't 100% effective.

I'm getting tired of people asking me why I haven't had the baby yet. I have no idea why. I guess Scout just isn't ready. I suppose I could go to the hospital and have them pump me up with pitocin to induce labor so I could have Scout now, but I don't want to force Scout out of the womb before his/her time.

Meanwhile, I have an appointment set up for a fetal non-stress test (NST) on Friday, though I'm pretty sure Scout is just fine. He/she moves so much that lately I feel like I'm carrying the Tasmanian devil (the Looney Tunes one) instead of a little human.

In Case You're Wondering ...

Have You Had That Baby Yet?